Name Changing

For Some years now I have been thinking about Changing my surname to Match those of my Son's, as they are in there dad's name and never really trully fancied a double barrelled surmans but it was talked about when I was expecting Charlie,, anyway after years of putting it off I still have not truly deceided what to do, the reason's why I have halted was One I felt I was being disloyal to my family if I had Changed my name to my partners surname without the Marriage also I felt I would upset my Late Grandparents and I also thought that if I change it then there is no point in my partner marrying me,, so I have left it and left it,,

But sometimes I just have to do things for me and follow my heart,, Ok my other half does not want to get married and to some extent I wish he had told me before we had kids as it was importnant to me,, and it was a big part of my dreams, But now after being together 22 years and 2 kids he has told me 6 months ago he has not intentions of getting married, one reason was it felt it stopped him going off with someone if he wanted too and the others were well everyone we know ends up getting divorced and yes he is right, its way mess when things are Ok,, his Mum has been married 4 times his dad 2 times and the last time was to a women 2 years younger than him.. Also theres a confidence thing on his part too, whilst he likes to be the centre of attention at home and work,, he cant tand the thought of a wedding, anyway gone off track,,

The reason why I want to change my name is not to protect him, or a way to say I love him its about me,, I just hate having a different name to my boys,, certain things are in my surname and certain things are in my partners surname as I have used it for years,, and after talking with my other half he doesn't mind me using his name at all and it was up to me what I did,, but he classes me as his (surname) anyway,,