The Next Step

I think the next step for me is to see the dr about being sterilised,, I have spoken with martin about this, and he said no, not that he wants anymore, but he feels if we were to split then he didn't want me to blame him for me not to be able to have any more.. But where you may say ok his right old on a minute,, this is me were talking about and my body,, Ok I am 37,, 38 in july and not considered old, but I have Charlie who is 13 years and was born with CHD which truthfully I dont want to go through ever again, and I have Joshus who was a total surprise due to the hormonal problems I have, he should not be here,, and I have had 5 early miscarriages which I dont want to go through again ever... so I think for my own sanity and what ever my future holds here then I will get sterilised...as i need to move on to a different level in my life I feel,, I am not going to loose all this weight get a firm body then put the sodding lot back on again,,

just hope the dr agrees with me